Warnings: very brief mention of body image issues; mentions of eating (no detailed description); potential parental emotional abuse (just mentions of a fight but could be triggering to people who have experienced abuse); general worrying about school, not knowing what to do in the future; brief mention of death; mention of suicide; doubts/discussions about religion; age gap is 4 years but there’s worrying about being predatory; brief mention of metaphorical drowning; mentions of metaphorical bugs (feeling butterflies); some swearing; very, very vague allusions to sex but nothing detailed whatsoever and the chastest of sexual feelings.
Summary: A University AU where Dan and Phil have the appearances of Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil and the interests of Spaceboy!Dan and Plantboy!Phil. Fun tropes combined with angsty reality! Phil is in his last year of university and feels completely lost - until he meets Dan, a passionate first year, in Astronomy 101. Existential angst and nausea-inducing fluffiness occur over the course of the semester as Phil falls in love with the boy who teaches him a whole new way of looking at the universe.
A/N: This fic has been in the works since April (it’s currently November) so I kind of feel like I’ve asexually reproduced a child out of an egg from my ass, in the wise and disgusting words of Dan Howell.
Except it wasn’t entirely asexually reproduced. (Creepiest way to start thanking people, good job Emily.) I’m so grateful to my beta, Anna, and artist, Felisa, for their contributions to this. They were really just a dream to work with and I feel incredibly lucky.
A shout out to all my twitter pals who encouraged me and who have given me such valuable perspectives on these dumb boys and life in general over the past few months. To Kaitie for looking it over, you are incredible!! To Blakely for being an amazing friend and person and having such a beautiful view of the universe.
Every single Radiohead scene is dedicated to Ize.
I stopped writing for a few years. It was awful. Writing this has been so important to me. Thank you Dan and Phil for inspiring me to write again. (All this cheese and pretension is just preparing you for the fic honestly, thank me later. More notes written as if I was a famous director giving desperate fans insider info about their favourite movie can be found at the end of the fic.)
